How to get a bpd ex back Logged seeking balance. I highly suggest if she comes back just know it's all bull shit. You are enough! Why it's so hard to get over an exwBPD She has been distant and treating me like a stranger almost in the past week. I don't defend my reality with my ex, if she believes that I'm the one to blame, I know My ex went back to her abusive ex whom she claimed blocked during our relationship, there's just no sense in it but with a pwBPD there sometimes doesn't need to be. BPD Deceptive Hoovers & BPD Ex’s Self-Deceptive Reverse Hoovers What Codependents Need To Know; BPD Idealization to Devaluation To Rumination & Ruination – Get Off The BPD Rollercoaster; Borderlines My ex used to monitor me while flaunting her wares. when i’m alone (usually at night) it’s the worst. That means no texting, calls, or DMs. Did they call your cat rude names? Its 100% who she is and has nothing to do with you, that lesson took me a long time to learn. Reading Recommendations Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends How To Survive The Loss of a Love Grieving the Loss of a Loved One Hey guys, i need help understanding how i can get my bpd ex back or whether she's ever coming back. Now this week we've seen each other again. There’s no one way to “detach” — create healthy boundaries or separate — from a person living with BPD. Of course she unblocked him when we broke up. It doesn't matter that she did it too. It is very important to learn about this disorder, knowing more about it does help the relationship get better! Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects many areas of a person’s life, including their relationships. Good news: she's come back from a 14 day disappearing act (incurred after I've confronted her about her issues), finally have visited a doctor, and received anti-depressants Ultimately, whether your BPD ex will come back after a breakup will depend on a variety of factors, including the specific dynamics of your relationship, the severity of their BPD symptoms, and their level of motivation to work on A frequent question after a breakup with a partner who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is whether BPD ex-partners can return. they dont even admit they have issues. That friendship went south in August which is when she apparently found her other boyfriend. Now she's testing to see if you're "on the line" and/or if she can get you back "on the line". Re: How compatable is a BPD EX with a Narcissist I had to go no contact after a time to get away from the "hoovering" "future promises" and the likes so that I did not fall back into the trap. This subreddit is an abuse Okay I was with her two month I messed up I understand BPD better know the break up was sort of a mutual agreement didn't end things on bad terms she said she wanted a relationship but I hurt her I found out she was talking to her ex I got jealous and I made her feel guilty because she asked why I'm not going to play the blame game anymore but it was hard 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family members It's not uncommon for BPD's to contact an ex after months, sometimes years after a break-up. They think you’re just as toxic as they are. Will My BPD Ex Ever Contact Me Again? We can't predict definitively if a BPD ex will contact us again. People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. J. I just think it’s really odd to have someone blocked “forever. If that’s the case, don’t go back. And that means they think everyone screws everybody - so they always have a backup plan. But, EVERYONE is saying it's a bad idea and don't. whiletheseasonspass. I dated my BPD ex for about two years and it took a toll on me. Exatly. My wife holds grudges and never lets them go. I’ve done more than enough research to know it’s hoovering but I want to know what the best way to get them back is. I still wanted to get back with my ex after we broke up but she crossed a boundary that's a deal breaker for me - she cheated. She told me everything I wanted to hear, that she misses me and felt like she was “ready to come home” - that she was sorry she made I've read that those suffering with BPD truly believe that they are constantly being stalked by their ex. Hang in there my friend, while the pain is unimaginable I guarantee you can get You don't need to come to this sub, bpd, or bpd loved ones to know that she's bad for you. I know you are in a lot of pain. You cant force her. Counselor and trauma recovery coach, A. com/tip-jar/In this My ex with BPD came back into my life and left again, I’m so lost. Look I get it. When I broke up with my ex the first time she came back after 4 months I was absolutely determined to get her back, it was a very difficult period for me, I'd just lost my mother and despite the evidence otherwise I assumed that I must have had some sort of personality transplant Sep 19, 2024 · It may sound counter-intuitive, but if you want to get back together, make yourself scarce by going no contact. You find yourself wanting to get back to those perfect times you spent together, clutching at the feelings you had during the first weeks or months of the relationship. it seemed like mood swings. He’s certainly never looked up articles that support any manipulative behavior as your boyfriend has. I’ve told her everything about missing her and wanting us back together. You can get your ex back. In my experience, splitting occurs when triggered by something that causes me to feel invalidated, attacked, or abandoned. Topic: Trying to get an EX BPD back after she unblocked me (Read 1764 times) jamjam. Hey guys, at the moment me and my bpd ex are in no contact. shed lose her and go off on me, yelling, shouting, saying nasty stuff. I have had to go no contact a I just don’t understand why she’s putting herself in my space. People who've recently been left by a partner with BPD keep asking me how they get them back. i started to become a pathological liar fearing her reaction to anything i opened Therefore, your ex-lover with BPD can suddenly view you as perfect in their eyes, causing them to want you back. She's convinced, wrongly, I lied and cheated. the solution isn’t to try and get back with him because you’ll be hurting yourself even more (in being with someone who doesn’t truly love or care for you). it was incredibly toxic. Offline Posts: 561. I wouldn't trade it for the world. it was useless. when shed get back to baseline, she would fall all over herself apologizing and idealizing me, blaming herself. My ex was BPD. Every time I think I’ve finally given up he comes back, so that doesn’t help. you aren’t inherently bad. Drop all relationship talk. I hope this person will eventually get help and I wish you both happier, healthier futures. I know I need to move on and would never go back to them if they reached out. He said he was going to change and for once his words and actions were matching up. But my ex never grows or makes serious efforts to improve his life. Log In / Sign Up; Topic: BPD ex being cold and don't know how to react correctly (Read 906 times) Miner22. Get out whilst you can, you've dodged a bullet and all that love and care and attention you want to give her, redirect towards yourself. Please take care of yourself. but Im letting them both fall on their face to see that the grass is not greener on the other side. . You, hoping that they are finally seeing things your way or really needing you, may venture I still communicate with my high-functioning BPD ex for various reasons, and I’ve found that implementing some of the techniques I’ve read in “talking to a loved one with borderline People with BPD may end a relationship for different reasons. Sea, when you've been cruelly friendzoned by the BPD, they like to keep you in the background to A) torture you because of the reasons stated in the original post and B) to keep you as an option to fall back on if things don't work out (give you false hope), or as a shoulder to cry on. I’ve told her everything about missing her and wanting Your partner may suddenly be on their best behavior or appearing very needy and trying to entice you back into the relationship. I should have also added in the original post that when they finally freeze you out of their Hello BPD community, I've been fighting to get my long distance ex fiancé back for two whole years. I have a suspicion that my In fact, from what I've seen, it's mostly exes of pwBPD asking how to get us back. While some BPD exes may choose to reconcile based on emotional considerations and circumstances, others may decide against it. You’ll eventually get over that ex and move on, but give it time. Hi all, Despite pretty clear BPD behaviours on her part (including a suicide attempt) that led me to having to end my relationship with my ex fiance after four stormy years, a month later I crumbled and made every attempt to get her back for months! Sometimes she responded, a few times we went out, other times I was accused of harrassing her but at times with the I still communicate with my high-functioning BPD ex for various reasons, and I’ve found that implementing some of the techniques I’ve read in “talking to a loved one with borderline personality disorder” and staying firm with my boundaries has actually helped a lot in my case. Advertisement. I don’t know if I want to ever get back with my ex but do you think she’ll come back around again? Jan 1, 2021 · Well, anecdotally the evidence suggests that they do come back. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. Is there a chance that she's on a rebound? I can understand giving it another chance, if you choose to go back how about doing things differently? The tools that you learn here can transfer to other r/s's in your life. We don't know their ex, so how would we know if they'll be back with them? Anyway, good luck. My ex wife made it clear it was intentional to hangout and potentially get back together and then a week later meets someone new and immediately is all over them and borderline ghosts me. My ex didnt show the signs until maybe 4 or 5 months into our relationship (Clingy, Controlling, and Jealously) but one of my friend is dating a womanizer boss and my friend as BPD so Im watching out for her but not my ex. fast forward to today he textes her more than me he is always finding ways to show up to her place and he is always seeking emotional Back then I had to participate to survive. To honour her desire to end things and move on. We broke up some time ago but remained mostly in contact. People who suffer from this disorder often have difficulty handling breakups on their own because they are used to depending on their partner for validation and support. Additionally, she wasn't kind to my friends, and also acted very inappropriately around my parents. I can empathize with her without her problems becoming my problems. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse Skip to main content. I’m doing my best to work on myself and it’s going pretty well, I’m happy with my friends and feel like I’m maturing. My wife started seeing a co-worker of hers a mere three months after our 5 year relationship ended in divorce. Get personalized recommendations, and learn where to watch across hundreds of streaming providers. Using your disorder as a weapon is dehumanizing. Do Borderlines Come Back After Discard? Borderline Personality Disorder individuals may come back after a discard, influenced by factors like breakup circumstances, treatment status, and relationship my ex fiancé of 4 years broke up with me a month ago, completely out of the blue. We've all been saying it this whole time. And it's amazing. Since then my ex has found me on dating sites, has signed me up for email newsletters so that they would be delivered to my email, used fake profiles to find me on social media and other such things to Here’s the thing about Cluster B (BPD, NPD, ASPD, HPD) personalities - it’s coded into their system that they can’t trust anyone. you shared true feelings, that takes guts. I learned about BPD and figured out how to simply avoid getting back to together. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and I have trouble detaching from an ex until I meet someone new, but I’m trying to find a way to do it differently this time. Then hopefully you'll also be at that point where you couldn't care less what she's doing, or whom. I learned why it's so hard to get over your BPD ex forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Sometimes I still struggle to get past some things, but my partner is amazing. Nothing was real You need to remember that BPD is an illness that will never go away. ” forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Let her, all on her own, realize that she still loves you. There is no definitive time for a hoover, or if they will even hoover at all. it also depends on why you broke up. In my case, after the B/U I kept my ex-BPD as a contact for a while, just to let the contact paths be open (stupid, I know). One thing to keep in mind when trying to get back with an ex - if it doesn't work out or if your ex doesn't want you back, don't force it. imo it’s very odd for me. Like you I had doubts when we first got back together. We'll get through this together, there A lot of this place is (rightfully) venting and sharing negative experiences that we had with BPD loved ones, but I’d like to create a discussion on actionable things that helped you recover from your BPD relationship and get to a healthier place where you were happy with your life and future romantic prospects. Your post gives me hope that I can finally come out of this and stop letting mine come back into my life. Give your ex a heads up if you don’t want to blindside them. For the first year or so it was mostly me breaking up with her. The last sentence sounds like she’s trying to gaslight you. My research, insight and guesstimations is that BPD's in most cases will boomerang back at some point. Considering she basically left me to go back to her ex and blocked me everywhere, after telling me she needed to be alone and give herself time to heal. Obviously as a guy, it’s rare to get a girl chasing you, but since I know she has BPD it’s just a dangerous temptation. discovered she From my experience of dating someone with BPD on and off for years: People who suffer from BPD do come back wether you reach out to them or they reach out to you! Some splits are weeks & other splits are months. Reply but a little feather that resides in your heart which now and then is gonna tickle you but you’ll get back up again. Many of us get these messages. BPD individuals So me and my ex-gf with BPD broke up roughly two weeks ago (romantic relationship). Anyways, as long as you were sending your BPD little messages, you were clearly still "on the line", so she didn't need to message you. Trying to "get her back" will only cause you more pain. I know everyone is different, but could someone please describe to me what an ex with BPD might feel after a break up? Do they hate you forever? Do they miss the memories? From my experience of dating someone with BPD on and off for years: People who suffer from BPD do come back wether you reach out to them or they reach out to you! Some splits are weeks & other splits are months. I then my very first serious relationship was on and off for 5 years. although m growing and getting better and not even ready for a relationship I recently made a post here about struggling to get over my ex w BPD, and I have finally caved in and tried to get back together with her. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. I would suggest you check out other BPD subreddits as other people mentioned. To get your ex back after she's moved on is really all about applying the same things that attracted you to her in the first place. --this guide may not Stay focused on you and you'll find that you'll get that back in your life also. we got togethor a couple months ago and it was fantastic (honeymoon phase) but overtime issues started popping up and we broke up and got back togethor 4-5 times in the span of 2 months. Now, I have to work against my old habits of thought to get a little perspective. not long after, she rang me wanting to get back together, but then next week flipped back to wanting to be apart, perhaps because i rushed back in and was needy and intense. Maybe you remember a bit of my story. I then IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. Jan 1, 2021 · My ex and my friend ended up hooking up (from my understanding). But trust Had I known what BPD was and why I was so down on myself, why I attached so hard, and why I felt the pain of losing her so strongly I could probably have done a lot better. Fewer than 3 Posts Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: On-off Relationship Posts: 1. Retired Staff Offline What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb Relationship status: divorced Posts: 7146. It hurts to think they had sex. My parents don't like her, and don't trust her. You don't need to come to this sub, bpd, or bpd loved ones to know that she's bad for you. Unfortunately there are times when a person with BPD leaves a genuinely loving and supportive partner. That's extremely common on BPD threads. she’s splitting back and forth between idealizing you and devaluing you and it’s not your fault; we just view people in black and white due to our disorder. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. I broke up with her When it comes to someone with the less than zero self esteem of a BPD, dealing with the emptiness and self loathing, everything they put out there to social media and people on the outside of the relationship, is carefully constructed to ensure the feedback they crave. First, there is definitely hope for your relationship, and many members here, including me, have been navigating these waters for a long time. For some, ending a toxic relationship may be a healthy step and a way to assert boundaries. Today I discuss this topic. I recently made a post here about struggling to get over my ex w BPD, and I have finally caved in and tried to get back together with her. It’s quite a cruel game she’s playing since I know that she’s also not getting treatment. shes had feelings for me for about a year and a half and i was her first for everything The behaviour will only get worse and worse, read the accounts on here of people who've been in marriages and long term relationships - Spoiler alert, it doesn't get better, just worse. On our 3rd date she told me multiple stories of guys stalking her. Mahari, shares the 10 choices you must make if you want to get your BPD ex back and the consequences that come with them. Trying to get an EX BPD back after she unblocked me Feeling alone after a break up? Want help and support from someone who's been in a relationship with a Borderline? And to be able to ask any questions you wa You don't need to come to this sub, bpd, or bpd loved ones to know that she's bad for you. It's stage-managed. Then, during the breakup, he threatened to throw them off the 2 story balcony (in their carriers, how thoughtful) in an attempt to get me back to our apartment when he was raging. id give it back. I don’t know if I want to ever get back with my ex but do you think she’ll come back around again? Jan 1, 2021 · My ex and my friend ended up hooking up (from my understanding). Various factors, like the breakup nature and their commitment to treatment, influence their decisions. My most recent ex and I broke up almost 4 months ago and I’m still trying. Also, because of what you've been as a girl with bpd yes we are extremely likely to come back. Within 2 months he was back to the same drama as before. Longing to get the BPD Ex back even though as a Codependent you need to learn that where there is abuse, there is no love. « Last Edit: July 20, in order to get an ex back, its most important to understand why the breakup occurred in the first place; Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects many areas of a person’s life, including their relationships. Definitely keep ignoring. honey, you know that he doesn’t want you. You can't help them. The strongest argument for me is The Chase. You don't want a friendship, you want a relationship. I finally found true love. Mahari provi This one seems to come up a lot. ? When I met my ex BPD online she had messaged me that she was a "creep magnet". Maybe only one or My ex once threatened to throw my older cat out of a motel room when we were traveling and I wasn't there yet. Kept thinking if I could do everything just right she would be fine and we could go back to normal. Believe me I do. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Posts: 5. Re: Splitting: Painted black - what does it 94K subscribers in the BPDlovedones community. that he threw her down the stairs. fast forward to, im not even sure how much i should recap but basically he has had his ex gf ruin our friendship twice since then && she texted someone who knows me inrl to find out my school !!XD, used my rape and grooming against me + called me an "easy fatass" because he was "angry" , but we still had MANYYY good times and i just cant get Heartache. anyone have a BPD ex girlfriend come back to them after they made it seem like the relationship was done forever and there dating another man? my BPD girlfriend broke up with me and is dating another man. It doesn't matter that you were separated. But something I’m struggling with is not knowing how they’re processing it. Once I learned about BPD, I asked if she would get therapy and I offered to do it with her and pay for everything, etc etc. Logged "The perfect is the enemy of the good" -- Voltaire. I saw a giant hickey on my friend and she said it came from a person who cared about her for more than 5 seconds which happens to be my ex. She essentially rubbed in my face, which was That fear of being hurt or abandoned or rejected is at the core of a lot BPD behaviour and psychology, often dealt with in unhealthy ways that just perpetuate the cycle. « Last Edit: July 20, 2020, in order to get an ex back, its most important to understand why the breakup occurred in the first place; what Welcome to the Staying Board, you are among people who get it, and who have made the same choice you have made. yes my ex cheated on me and verbally, mentally as a girl with bpd yes we are extremely likely to come back. You seem dead set on 'winning her back', yet in most posts you've made, people tell you to let her go. she will come back as her fear of abandonment will kick in and overpower her desire to be alone because people with bpd are extremely attached to I have trouble detaching from an ex until I meet someone new, but I’m trying to find a way to do it differently this time. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. com/emergency-breakup-kit/Coach Lee's Tip Jar is at https://myexbackcoach. I'm with a partner who is an adult. Cluster B’s are like heroine. Last night I brought it up to her and she said she definitely wants to get back together but doesn't want to jump right into things, which is one of the healthiest things I can You find yourself wanting to get back to those perfect times you spent together, clutching at the feelings you had during the first weeks or months of the relationship. Support Needed . we got together a couple of months ago and it was fantastic (honeymoon phase) but overtime issues started popping up and we broke up and got back together 4-5 times in the span of 2 months. In fact, I've personally spoken to several exes of pwBPD who've messaged me asking that vety qurstion. How we interpret reality is different than the next person, emotions and feelings are real. My ex told me a story about a friend that stopped talking to her in hs after they had a big fight. She said if we were to get back together again we would have to start off as friends and take it slow. You can get your ex girlfriend back. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. i started to become a pathelogical liar fearing her reaction to anything i opened up Why would a BpD ex come back into your life after discard and 4 months no contact just to mess with your life and head again BPD Behaviors & Traits I was in a 18 month relationship my BPD ex and long story short she cheated on me a bunch of times, gaslighted the hell out of me, manipulated me until it finally got too “toxic” for her, even though she was the one who did all i made a lot of mistakes with my ex partner and he eventually left and now were no contact (i can text but he set a boundary not to got a while). i really want him back and he made me so happy for a long time and so did i, it was such a comforting relationship but im young and stupid in a hurt him multiple times. Helpful 19 Not Helpful 2. It seemed too good to be true, and in the end it was. She used me just to get back at her husband. BPD ex being cold and don't know how to react correctly « on: May 04, 2020, 09:11:26 AM » My . I'm happy now, just like the other poster said. I just could not stand being hurt by her so much. My ex took about 11 years to hoover me. It is clear the connection you felt wasn't that strong, it was an illusion. Please for the love of life tell anyone you know who is possibly experiencing this to please approach with caution and definitely do their best to cut contact Why would a BpD ex come back into your life after discard and 4 months no contact just to mess with your life and head again . forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She thinks I left her. Through manipulation and abusive tactics, your ex has brainwashed you into thinking that you need them for love and validation, and that they are the only ones who can provide them. I felt trapped, I felt horribly about myself. I gave my ex a second chance. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I read that making you believe that you are really gone, is the best way to get the attention of a bpd, it usually works ? We are in the same class at school and and I'll see her again in September. He broke up, kept my hopes up, then ended up dating someone new, ghosting me. How he cheated on her multiple times that he took their kid to the mistress place. My ex sent me an email a few months back saying that I had no idea with what I did wrong in the relationship, I understand that she suffers from mental illness and how she feels is very real to her. You have posts going 9 months back on how to get back in contact with her. This is horseshit. To deal with your boyfriend using your BPD as a weapon, you throw the whole man away. discovered she Just a curiosity question. When I get broken up with, I always try to get them back. Expand user menu Open settings menu. I appreciate anyone that takes the time to read this. The best way is to lovingly tell her what you want and to let you That friendship went south in August which is when she apparently found her other boyfriend. If you want to get back with her and make your life shitty for however long, be my guest. she will come back as her fear of abandonment will kick in and overpower her desire to be alone because people with bpd are extremely attached to IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. after 9 months I GOT HER BACK-then i was like what the heck, now i remember why i broke up with her. And someone please tell me, is this normal behavior. And guess what, she is back with her ex husband meaning she lied about getting a divorce. It's an approach-avoidance hoover annoyance that amounts to stalking with plausible deniability. 5 minutes into the conversation on the first date she went on and on about the ex. BPD Breakup Will BPD Ex Come Back? The Uncertainty of No ContactBPD Breakup Will BPD Ex Come Back The Uncertainty and Fear of No Contact - A. that he made her pay alimony. This is how abuse thrives, and what you just described is abuse. I didn’t know about BPD at the time of the hoover and after 11 years there was plenty of water under the bridge, so I was a fool who thought that a relationship with her would be different this time around. The first thing that I'd suggest is start with being her friend. Jan 1, 2021 · My research, insight and guesstimations is that BPD's in most cases will boomerang back at some point. Hi and welcome I can understand your feelings after your relationship so far. They're revisiting old stomping grounds under the auspice of being innocuous while goading you with their new supply or new & improved lifestyle to see if you'll become a jealous contestant in I (31 M) am reading these posts and it makes me sad to see all of these people posting and encouraging each other to get out of a relationship with a BPD significant other, without first encouraging them to get help. I don’t want my ex back by any means. If you get back with this person, they are going to do two things. my ex fiancé of 4 years broke up with me a month ago, completely out of the blue. But this is all an illusion. My ex BPD supposedly had 24 years of therapy and she is probably worse now than everand she thinks she's cured. Remember that you are worth being with somebody who wants to be with you, and you don't have to chase after somebody who doesn't! Thanks. I don't get dragged into her drama, and I think she feels this, so she doesn't reach out to me in general. She continued to get more and more distant from me but we still had sex and saw each other for very short dates (she always had to get "back to work" or "to do laundry" or "go over to a friend's house") occasionally until last week. I really need some guidance. She's offered the friendship, start there. What’s some of the things a BPD ex said to you while leaving you? She said this guy was done with her, I guess probably because he was afraid we’d get back together, so it didn’t really occur to me that it would affect her. i cried myself to sleep, social media stalked, read old convos, embarrassingly tried to beg to be back together or started an argument with him lol but then i’d wake up feeling pretty normal w a puffy cry face (crying makes me prettier😼) and go about my day "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I think all you can do is let her know you're open to I took her back that night after her begging to stay together (she was hot, the sex was amazing, and I was probably afraid and saw that as a way to control the situation), she broke up with me a week later, threatened to kill herself when I wouldn't get back together with her a week after that, and I moved out a few weeks later. Jan 1, 2021 · I am friendly with my exBPDgf, but that's because there's basically no way I will ever consider getting back together with her. Borderline patients may discard someone permanently if they find a new person to replace and attach to avoid negative feelings of Hey guys, i need help understanding how i can get my bpd ex back or whether she's ever coming back. We aim to help one another build the tools needed to help the person we love get through their journey to treatment, as well as support each other with understanding of BPD and what it can cause. she had just stopped taking medication for But what if you could out-BPD the BPD and use their tactics (devaluation, projection, idealization, etc. Also, because of what you've been This is a reddit community to welcome all who have a relationship (platonic, romantic or family) with someone suffering from BPD. Also, because of what you've been I was expecting to hear from her when she gets back, but it has been 3 months and i have not heard from her since. To back this up, she might not have even been lying, but she probably left out a lot of details that completely change the story. It is these partners that I hear from, asking me how they can persuade their ex to come back. sometimes they begged for me back, most times i begged for them back. there relationships dont last because they are asss, think of why it didnt last with you. I still wanted to get back with my ex after we broke up but she crossed a boundary that's a deal breaker for me There is no definitive time for a hoover, or if they will even hoover at all. I thought I was in love. You both I took her back that night after her begging to stay together (she was hot, the sex was amazing, and I was probably afraid and saw that as a way to control the situation), she broke up with me a week later, threatened to kill herself when I wouldn't get back together with her a week after that, and I moved out a few weeks later. Don't go back. This is classic BPD. Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach. ) to reverse the situation and make the breakup a positive, validating experience for the BPD? Depending on several factors--where you are in the breakup process, whether you're still in contact, if your BPD has any level of respect for you, etc. it’s also important to focus on yourself (self care in all forms) before stepping out into the dating world again, otherwise you’ll find yourself chasing that person in other people and To get your ex back after she's moved on is really all about applying the same things that attracted you to her in the first place. I'm sure it's the same for people who have been in other kinds of relationships with such disordered people. Though it is more extreme with BPD, everyone is driven by these fears on some level, and the solution in every case is education, counseling, therapy, self-care, time and effort. It's your life, you do what you want. Jul 4, 2013 · Well, I got my revenge After suffering for the last four months (depression, crying, extreme weight loss, longing for my ex BPD wife) I finally put the nail in the coffin and put her in her place on the way out. You can get your ex boyfriend back. People with BPD can have black and white thinking about things or people, so it can seem illogical at times. They ease the pain in the short term, but My ex who I care about very much wants to get back together. SHe would mention him and praise him to me when we argued, but in fact I know she had blocked him on social media. I don't know how you do that, It’s been going on for ~4 years. My ex broke up with me last March, and earlier this month she reached out to me. You need to decide whether it's even worthwhile, though. She was also my first girlfriend so I loved her deeply, but For me, id take her back in a heartbeat because i believe the relationship was healthy and happy (as far as a relationship with someone suffering with bpd can be) For you, if she disrespected you, didnt make you feel loved, appreciated, respected, or even cared for then i think you're right not to go back. I think she left me. In my Part I post, I described how a lot of the difficult behavior of patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) in their intimate relationships is designed to elicit in the observer one Prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support are crucial when considering a BPD ex's potential return. For others with BPD, ending a relationship may be a response to She told me she always left her exes, but when she was jealous of me she always told me that exes always come back. But I want my bpd ex back. I don't know what to do in class if we don't get back Do BPD come back after discard? BPD patients are more likely to return than narcissistic people. BPD Behaviors & Traits I was in a 18 month relationship my BPD ex and long story short she cheated on me a bunch of times, gaslighted the hell out of me, manipulated me until it finally got too “toxic” for her, even Jan 1, 2021 · they do come back: they are EASY TO GET BACK! they are easily convinced! jusssssst wait. r/BPDlovedones A chip A close button. My emails were intended to try and get her back. if you have to break up more than a couple of times, they probably aren’t serious about settling down. Find ratings and reviews for the newest movie and TV shows. You might say, “I think the best way for both of us to get the space we need is to stop communicating for a while. Before I learned about BPD I learned a lot about this kind of stuff. Anything to get attention back from me. I'm very reluctant to as she has hurt me A LOT. What matters is what she perceives was an injustice against her. It’s not healthy. And step back if you notice inconsistency in behaviour, again BPD or not. However, if you’ve cut all communication with them, they may resort to stalking or harassing you or I took a peek at your post history, and absolutely nothing I found there inspires any positive feelings. But this To deal with your boyfriend using your BPD as a weapon, you throw the whole man away. Delete disproportionate anger and general dysregulation were there from day one. My husband never blames my BPD during arguments even when we both know that’s why I’m acting so extreme. they have to want to help themselves get better. Like all mental health conditions, BPD’s presentation and impact on a relationship is nuanced. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. We had a fun time together but when he wanted to sleep with me I said no, we're just +1 here. Answering this query could be complicated and can vary depending I recently made a post here about struggling to get over my ex w BPD, and I have finally caved in and tried to get back together with her. If you were to get back together, it’s worth figuring out if what you said triggered it. It's not real. Could be 2 months or 2 years, but when is anyones guess. It is very important to learn about this disorder, knowing more about it does help the relationship get better! People who suffer from borderlines and go through a breakup will try to get back with their ex, or else they will experience intense feelings of loneliness and desperation. ” I’ve been blocked on all platforms for about 7 months now including his number when I asked for my stuff back and asked him why he was talking shit about me online and to our friends - looking back this was his smear campaign but I didn’t know much about it at the time. Apr 18, 2024 · People living with BPD might see things in extremes, act impulsively, and quickly change how they feel about other people. i dont think shes really into the guy but just using him to get me jealous. jftqb jro caa sxhna wfs ougst eggi bjbm eur mqey